The Truth About Insecurities
We as a species are naturally insecure. I’m sure that the cave-men gossiped about who’s cave was bigger and better, and who caught the biggest game for dinner. Cain killed Abel, Tonya Harding conspired against Nancy Kerrigan, and Gatsby threw a billion lavish parties just to get the attention of one woman. From the beginning of time, humans have been insecure.
I think about how the internet and mass media has played such a pivotal role in exposing the insecure nature of human beings. Before men were exposed to television, what beauty standard did they have to compare women to? And before the age of commercials, how did we know what fashion and products that we wanted (and needed) to purchase?
The age of the smart phone has also done much to expose human insecurity, in more ways than one. People hide behind “anonymous” comments, leaving hateful and tasteless reactions towards one another. We would rather text through arguments than speak to someone face to face. Some people post 1000 selfies a day, in search of validation and ironically most online validation comes from people that you will never meet, from places you will never go. Many internet users honor and adore the popular people online, and although these people may be well-dressed and very beautiful, they have contributed very little to society. The pedestal doesn’t match the reason. There are people who are so bored and insecure with their own lives, that they essentially ‘steal’ the lives of others, by using other people’s pictures and creating online profiles from them. *Sidenote* this has happened to me before. Someone created a fake Facebook and was telling people that I was Russel Simmons niece. I don’t know what’s more embarrassing-the fake profile, or the fact that the fake profile had a cooler life than mine (lol) The name was Nicole.
Sometimes I think about whether or not I want to keep my online platforms, but as a marketer (particularly a professional social media marketer) and an artist, I can’t and shouldn’t delete my profiles. I have made money and valuable connections, even friendships online. I also keep in touch with family and friends overseas via social media, and this is the best way to do so. However, there are times when the online presence and norms do start to get to me. It makes me sad that the internet is essentially it’s own world, and that people refuse to use social media and mass-media for positivism.
As women, we fall victim to comparisons and insecurity way more than men. We constantly compare our bodies, our appearances, our clothes, our friends, our men. Many women wear tons of make up all day and are fearful to show the world their natural faces. Women rock heels and tight dresses everywhere, in hopes to catch the attention and adoration from men, and envy from other women. Online presence makes it even easier for us to beat up on ourselves. I, too have fallen victim to this, and I must catch myself midway. Constant comparison to other women can have a devastating effect on your self-esteem, even if you don’t even realize it. Some people might say “well you are pretty, you have it easy” but that in fact makes it tougher. Beautiful girls are the most insecure inside. They do not see their qualities, they only see flaws.
Some of my most seemingly extravagant memories, most “desirable” memories, most coveted memories, (that I have posted online) are times when I literally had only a dollar and a dream. To the outside world or untrained eye, it may seem like I had it all, or like I was ballin outta control, but to be honest, every beautiful memory or expensive opportunity is usually a blessing or a gift from the universe. I am a struggling entrepreneur and college student. My life is beautiful but it is far from extravagant.
I believe that people can take a single glimpse into someone’s life and get to comparing, without even knowing the full story behind it.
Just because a person seems happy, doesn’t mean that they are.
Just because a person is beautiful and radiant in a picture, doesn’t mean they have that same aura or look the same in person.
Just because a person has thousands of likes, doesn’t mean that that person is well-liked in life.
Just because a person posts pictures of material items, doesn’t mean they have money.
Just because a person smiles, doesn’t mean that they are happy.
Insecurity is a human trait, however, you should never wish to be someone that you are not. That is a waste of the beautiful and unique person that YOU are, that is wasting your unique destiny, talent, looks, and ability.
Never feel bad about your position in comparison to someone else’s. Everybody’s journey is different. And to keep it 100, most people in America live well beyond their means, meaning that even though a person may be posting the newest J’s or lavish dinners, he or she is most likely swimming in a pool of debt. Consumerism and capitalism have a funny way of working like that. Appearance isn’t everything. And for that matter, most people that feel the need to floss that hard online are only trying to compensate for their own insecurities.
Never compare your looks to someone else’s. This is perhaps one of the harder ones for me. I always have to tell myself that flowers do not look around at one another, they just blossom. And just because someone else is beautiful, that doesn’t make you any less beautiful.
Social media does not have to be used as an engine to drive insecurity, but it can be used as an important (and FREE!) tool-to spread knowledge, beauty, and to network and make money! We must check in with ourselves to make sure that we are not spending too much time online, and that we are enjoying the world, the real world, and receiving all of the beauty that it has to offer. Many of us spend more time online than we do watching TV or doing anything else. If this is you, then make sure that whatever you are allowing your brain to intake, is going to have a positive contribution to your thoughts. Be aware that even the smartest, most strongest mind can be affected by the intake of meaningless, useful, and harmful knowledge. Even the greatest athletes in the world would be affected if they fed themselves junk food every day. Don’t feed your mind junk food (:
To close, we are all insecure, even the most beautiful or handsome people in the world are insecure, even the richest men and women in the world are insecure. That is normal. Always remember that you are a beautiful person created in the image of God. You can be anything you want to be, you can have anything you want to have! No matter how society perceives you, always be yourself. It isn’t important to get likes, or comments, or adoration. It is important to be happy, accomplish things, and to positively change the world around you.
With love,
