I Haven’t Had Sex In A Year
It’s been one year since I’ve had sex. One year by choice.
People never believe me when I tell them, but at the young age of 23, I choose not to lay with just anyone and would much rather give myself to a man that I know I will be with for a while. And after dating different guys, knowing what I have to offer, and listening to friends say, “I’m pregnant” and hear about their sexcapades, it makes it that much more easier to go without.
I’m an extremely sexual and sensual person, but I’ve never considered the thought of purchasing a toy. Better yet, a real-size penis that vibrates. I can never get over the fact of pleasuring myself: legs gaped open with some love ballad in the background and eyes rolling in the back of my head. It just doesn’t seem right.
I’ve told myself multiple times that I don’t need sex — I’ve gone this long without it. I can keep going.
But, my dreams seem to tell me otherwise.
For the past six months or so, I’ve been having dreams. Sexually explicit, passionate, raunchy dreams that I’m still trying to figure out.
These dreams are extremely realistic and consist of sexual intercourse in weird, random places. I can even see the faces of the men. I can see the positions and everything. Mind you, I don’t ever think about sex during the day, unless I’m listening to music that triggers a certain feeling.
After the dreams, I always wake up feeling disgusted, as if God is judging me and later follow with a whisper of an apology to God: “Lord please forgive me, I don’t know where this is coming from. I can’t control it.”
I’ve even told one of my guy friends about it and he thinks it’s entertaining and that I should partake in what my dreams are trying to tell me by getting laid. “We’re human, Court. It’s OK. Maybe it’s a sign.”
He laughs.
I didn’t think it was funny.
Dreams sometimes speak the mind of a subconscious soul, so it makes me wonder…. maybe it is a sign?
Maybe I should get laid. Is this even normal?
image source: Angela Lindvall photographed by Richard Burbridge, Harper’s Bazaar May 2000
April 1, 2014
interesting
April 2, 2014
Subconsciously you’re thinking about it but you set a standard of wanting it to be someone your in a relationship with. That’s fine too but you should not deny yourself self-pleasure. It’s safe, relaxing and keeps you from doing something you really don’t want to.
I have a year more than you and I am in the same boat. You just don’t want to do it for the sake of it or with just anybody. I have my backup in extreme emergency cases and I am patiently waiting for the real thing. Get a friend to go with you to the toy store or go by yourself and take a look around. Ask questions they are there to help. Don’t think of it as a dirty or nasty thing & you will be ok.
April 2, 2014
I agree, I decided not for any religious reason to not have sex. Don’t deny yourself. If you seriously believe that religiously it’s wrong to do it yourself we can’t force you, but girl. Give it a try. At this point, you’re not sharing your body with someone else it’s you. It’s been a year and 4 months for me, I have dreams all the time, crazy ones but you know what, you wake up, and go on about your business.
January 17, 2015
Don’t give in only too start over again. I believe you should wait until you find a person you feel is worthy of your gift. We all have needs and desire, but every woman doesn’t know her worth or that she is worth the wait.
February 5, 2015
I have been here!!! I decided to stop laying with any man, which lasted three years of NO sex, it was hard and your body wants sex just like it wants chocolate! i would say have fun in the dream and leave it there. You also more horny towards the time of the month! One pieces of evidence which someone told me is know why your doing it. Do not compromise those reason when someone comes round that you feel may be the one. SET THOSE STANDARDS! I slip up had sex with someone I though was the one, not only was it soooooooooooooooooooooooooo not worth it, it made me feel bad. wish you all the best!!