A compilation of freshly brewed reads curated for twenty + thirty somethings.

+ My Absentee Father Tried To Friend Me On Facebook I first learned my Dad’s birthday when he sent me a request on Facebook. For years, it was one piece of information that haunted me. When had the person that had given birth to me received life? I contemplated it as much as wondering the exact day he decided to leave me behind.

+ It Happened To Me: A Semen Allergy Ruined My Marriage Fourteen months after we were married, I was diagnosed with Human Seminal Plasma Hypersensitivity –– an allergy to semen.

+ Bougie Workplace Chronicles | When Helping Your Own Goes Horribly Wrong For those not in the know, my day job on Paycheck Plantation is Human Resources. Specifically Talent Acquisition Consulting. I’ve wanted to quit and write full-time for over ten years. The struggle continues. Let’s move on… There was a sister-girl on my team. Grown, over 40, been in recruiting a while. She seemed professional, hard-working, knowledgeable and pleasant. Right before Thanksgiving, we had to cut resources on my project. Client was slow to move candidates to hire status which impacted our billing which impacted our budget and the next thing you know, my team is cut from five to two. Le Boo, dammit.

+ If Ever There Were An Official Chairwoman Of The Itty Bitty Titty Committee, It Would Be Me I peaked, size wise, at the age of 10, when I bought my first training bra — that, with a bit of a tug across the torso, could certainly fit my bust line today. Vacillating between the funny gray area of a size 32AA and 32A (depending on the time of the month), as an adult woman my breasts hardly heave, but rather perch between the marked grooves of my clavicle.

+ The Awesome Girl’s Guide to Dating Extraordinary Men by Ernessa T. Carter Sharita, Thursday, Risa, and Tammy are single and all about to turn 30. Most of them have known each other since their days at Smith College, and even though they’re all completely different from one another in almost every way, they’re extremely close. Sharita is the level-headed one; she’s a boring accounted with her heart set on finding the perfect Black man to settle down with and start a family.

+ For White Mothers Who Don’t Know How To Style Their Black Children’s Natural Hair: I Feel You This is just embarrassing, so I’m just going to say it: I suck at doing my daughter’s hair. This confession may seem mundane to some, but it feels like a major failure to me for two reasons. One, I’m black. And just like having an inherent ability to sing, dance and play basketball, all black people are supposed to be born with the gift of hairstyling. Well, I missed out on that gift and my poor children have to suffer for it. But there’s more.

+ Life With A Toddler… and a Shaved Head Last week was a crazy week. Between Matron of Honor duties, a sick Elle and lots of work at work, I didn’t have much time to run or sleep.

+ Born Behind Bars: How Separation, Foster Care and Adoption Shaped My Life I was born into uncertainty. Subsequently, I’m kind of a pro at it. My first step into the landscape of uncertainty began with the day I was born in a prison hospital. My birthmother, a heroin addict, was pregnant when she was sentenced for drug-related crimes, and I lived with her in prison for my first year, along with two hundred or so other inmates, the guards and a warden. It was an entire universe of uncertainty.

+ Race Lived Or How I Lost My White Friends Then again, as a former friend who I wrote about last year in this space recently wrote to me: “Perhaps it was the scars of racism that prevented you from trusting me, maybe it was other reasons.” This would be the same “friend” who in an attempt to write intelligently about Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman last year, wrote the following words in one of the largest papers in the state of Maine “His really dark skin means he’s dangerous. Her wide nostrils remind me of a monkey. As abhorrent as these statements are, they are thoughts I’ve had. It’s hard to even call them thoughts, as they occur so quickly and almost outside the scope of language. When I saw the Pew Research Center’s latest poll results showing that whites essentially think we don’t need to talk much more about racial justice issues raised by the Trayvon Martin-George Zimmerman case, I wasn’t surprised.”

+ Sheryl Sandberg says we should ban ‘bossy.’ I’ll pass. As a woman and mother caught in the cross hairs of the Sheryl Sandberg generation, I am exhausted by manifestoes of pursuit. I’ve been told to Lean In (Facebook COO Sandberg), Marry Smart (Princeton mom Susan Patton), and now the latest: Ban Bossy (Sandberg yet again). It’s a lot of bossiness. I feel like I’m in a boot camp for perpetually striving women.

+ I’m Not Dead I’m not going to lie, 2013 was rough. I did not take the ending of my career as head writer of a failed late night talk show all that well. ( “Don’t Sleep” hosted by T. J. Holmes was, by far, the cruelest mistress.) Shortly after the show ended and I was back in St. Louis, I fell into a pretty rough depression. Some personal relationships exploded while others imploded. I watched an idea myself and my writing partner, Yesha Callahan , nurtured go from amazing promise to crickets. I tried to get hired by a couple other shows, but neither panned out. I took one rejection a bit harder than the other, even though that show was also off the air before 2013 petered out.

+ A Working Black Mom of Five Sounds Off: Don’t Label Me Two master degrees, an undergraduate degree from Tarheel Nation (UNC-Chapel Hill), a very successful career climbing the corporate ladder, 11 years of marriage, and 5 kids later, I am still labeled. One of the few black female VPs in my organization, an entrepreneur, a mentor, and several accolades later, I am still labeled. When does the labeling stop? I ask myself that question all the time. What mold should I fit in because I have five kids? Should I care more about what people think of me? Should I hide who I am for corporate America? Should I scream and shout that all my kids are by one man whom I met when I was 16 and married when I was 26? Should I obsess over my appearance so I’m not labeled as “that mom?” No and neither should you.

+ I Was Raised To Honor My African-ness And Avoid Becoming Black With A Capital B There were a lot of reactions to Lupita Nyong’o’s historic win at this year’s Academy Awards — pride, elation, hope, and, for many African Americans, a resounding sense of relief. A black woman had won this prestigious, coveted award, and not just any black woman, but one with the potential to change Hollywood’s longstanding perceptions about what a leading lady is supposed to look like.

+ Guys Want To Date Me Until They Find Out I’m Almost 60 Dating at almost 60 is nothing like I thought it would be. I actually didn’t think I’d really be actively dating at almost-60. I assumed I’d have settled into to a nice long-term relationship with a delightful man who was not my husband but offered many of the perks and none of the headaches of a husband.

+ I Work As A Writer For Reality Shows — Here’s The Deal And believe me, they’re not glamorous. They’re also not “real.”

+ 15 Signs You Have A ‘Not Boyfriend’ I probably didn’t make up the term for or concept of the not-a-boyfriend but have had many in my life, I can provide a great definition for who they are.

+ I Am @SteenFox And I Wrote The Original Tweet “What Were You Wearing?” We can’t lose sight of the fact that an incredible thing happened that night.

+ She’s A Very Kinky Girl By society’s standards yes. If the hair isn’t “laid to the gawds” it is abnormal. It’s no secret that majority of beauty ads or ads in generally have women with flowing, silky hair. Even the ones for products marketed towards the natural haired women have women with bouncy, run your fingers through my hair curls. It takes me around an hour to run my fingers through my hair much less someone else’s all up and through it. Do we even care to be normal? Well I don’t. Normal is equivalent to boring for me. Normal is relative anyways.

+ Cynthia, Successful Blogger + Lawyer There’s something I heard that describes me and the attitude I try to have: The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes their way.

+ Thousands of Hours : The Search for Love – Changing WomanI used to be a different woman. Ten years and countless relationships. Maneuvering through life and love. It’s changed me. I can honestly admit I’ve been flipped inside out. I have been on this EPIC journey in search of love. The great love. The Notebook, Nicholas Sparks happy ending love. The love novels are written about. The love that gets you out of the bed in the middle of the night to drive ten hours. The love that has us on the living room floor thankful in laughter.