Words are important. We use them to convey messages, thoughts, ideas, truths, etc. Sometimes we tune in and out depending on our interest level.

When my last “situation” told me over drinks at Rosa Mexicano that he wasn’t looking for anything serious, I heard him but was I listening? Nope. What he said went in one diamond studded ear and right back out the other. Why? He was fly. With skin so smooth and creamy, I wanted to take a bite out of his Nestlé crunch bar and satisfy my sweet tooth. His smile, perfect and those eyelashes were long and definitely selling his sexy. I wasn’t trying to hear that he had no interest in a relationship. I was sure that I could adjust his thought process eventually.

One morning after a night of passion, I was admittedly in my feelings. My girlfriend’s wedding was coming up and as I snuggled in the arms of my lover I decided to make my move.

“My girlfriend from college is getting married next week,” I let the words roll off of my tongue and hang in the air.
“That’s cool,” he responded staring at the ceiling.

“If you don’t have plans, maybe you could…be my date?”

The pause of death, silence fell over the room.

“Um, well, let me…let me look into it and get back to you,” he said.

Ok, it wasn’t the reaction that I wanted but it wasn’t a solid no. I went to work that morning feeling confident. However, I had about an hour to revel in my field of Apricot Beauty sweet smelling tulips. Then reality hit in the form of a text message.

HIM: About that wedding…I won’t be able to make it.

ME: Really?

HIM: Yeah, forgot that I made plans with my mother.

I was livid. I wanted to curse out his mother for creating such a stupid selfish poor excuse of a man.
HIM: Actually I was thinking and maybe we should slow down a bit. Things have been really busy at work and I need to focus.
Focus! At work! Really! I knew where this was headed.

ME: Well my ex has been stalking my life, begging me to get back together…so it’s probably best that we don’t talk anymore anyway.
Was I lying? Uh, hell yeah. Why? Because I had to! He backed me into a corner, and nobody puts baby in a corner.

ME: Enjoy that thing with your mother…

I tried my best to slight him but in the end I knew who really deserved the kick in the butt, me. He didn’t trick me. He stated his intentions clearly from the start. I tricked myself…right into believing something that I knew wasn’t true. I chose to play clueless and for that I got exactly what he wanted, nothing.

Ahyiana Angel is a Cali girl who turned the Manhattan streets into her playground. As a freelance writer for xoJane.com, SingleBlackMale.org, Joint Interest and more, she is known among friends for giving her unsolicited opinion, hence the creation of the blog, Life According to Her. This sassy storyteller—a former sports entertainment publicist at the National Basketball Association (NBA)—is anticipating the release of her first novel Preseason Love in 2014. Ups and downs with dating, love, sex, and friendships inspired her to create a lane of her own where she can talk crap (her blog) and collect her thoughts (her first novel). Angel loves traveling—especially frolicking in Caribbean sands getting her bronzy glow just right—embarking on new adventures, and she’s obsessed with crime drama series but scared of her own shadow. // From A Wildflower, Featured Writer